High Fashion: How the Fashion Industry Misses the Mark

Today as I tried to shave down some of the inbox clutter, one of the newsletters I get lured me to its lead story with an interesting headline, all about a fashion show in Times Square designed to remind the world that beauty can be non-traditional as sexy "comes in all sizes."

I've always been an optimistic, "glass half-full" kinda person, but even I know titles like that don't really mean that every size is included. Usually, they mean they've focused on plus-sized women, forgetting all about the "others" who usually don't get very much attention, either - like the very petite or the really tall.

I get it: Our society has a way of stamping a particular look as THE standard of beauty - a box that only a handful of people actually fit into. Most of us wouldn't ever be able to fit the Fashion Week runway looks even if we could afford them because they don't come in our size. But trust me - even when tall and svelte is seen as the pedestaled shinny apple, the fashion industry's idea of "long" shirts and pants always leave much of my forearms and shins uncovered. Always.

How big you are or aren't shouldn't be the issue, but it always seems to be.

I'm all for expanding that worn definition of "standard beauty" by including women who wear larger sizes and even members of the trans community who may need clothing that is nearly impossible to find off the rack, I really am. I just think it's important to also think about the others who can't find crap to fit them, either, like:

• The A-Cup women
• Females without much junk in the trunk
• Pregnant women who hate anchors, cartoon animals or bows
• Ladies who like clothing traditionally labeled "mens wear" (ties, suit jackets, boxy jeans, trousers with functional pockets, Oxford shirts, etc.)
• Women who don't wear heels
• Women with small or large feet who do wear heels
• Anyone with an inseam over 34"
• Anyone with an inseam under 24"
• Folks with long limbs who only need extra material for length, not necessarily girth
• Women who don't want to flash cleavage in a cocktail dress or evening gown
• Jeans that actually freaking fit but don't cost a tuition payment to own
• Pants that still cover your ankles when you sit down  

What do you like to see on your clothing store shelves?

A gentle reminder that we should all stop and smell them every now and again...

Time's Been Up

Doesn't matter if it's Bill Cosby, President Trump, singer R. Kelly, producer Harvey Weinstein, editorial director Lockhart Steele, CEO John Besh, news director Michael Oreskes, Minnesita state senator Dan Schoen, comedian Louis C.K., Ohio state representative Wes Goodman, journalist Charlie Rose, journalist Matt Lauer, Broadway casting director Justin Huff, venture capitalist Shervin Pishevar, playwright Israel Horovitz, federal appeals court judge Alex Kozinski, political analyst Ryan Lizza, chef Mario Batali, ESPN host Eric Davis, filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, Carolina Panthers owner Jerry Richardson, conductor Charles Dutoit, dancer Marcelo Gomes, Bank of America director Omeed Malik, Big Apple Circus clown Barry Lubin, casino magnate Stephen Wynn, CEO Wayne Pacelle, Hollywood manager Vincent Cirrincione, Hispanic Chamber of Commerce chief Jaview Palomarez or anyone else – enough. is. enough. 

And if women in your life are saying #MeToo and you keep insisting the movement has “gone too far” – go sit down somewhere.

Zora Was a Genius

You ever think about the slights and micro-aggressions you experience in your day-to-day? I don't, usually, but a few days ago, I remembered a particularly weird incident that happened when I was just out of college.

As I was finally working in my field full-time, my mentor and former Temple University instructor asked me to come in to speak to his undergraduate photojournalism class about what a day-in-the-life of a woman earning a living shooting images for a daily newspaper was like. I don't really remember much of what I talked about specifically or what questions I answered, but I do remember one student who would not look me in the eye and actually laid down across the edge of the table - flat on his back - as the class gathered around to see my portfolio. He wasn't disruptive as he stared at the ceiling, but his body language and behavior said he just didn't want to be bothered and had no interest in anything I had to say. I wrote him off as an insecure know-it-all idiot and kept it moving.

A few months later, we ended up freelancing for the same suburban Philadelphia newspaper and I was right: He as an insecure know-it-all idiot.

Whenever out of the ordinary stupidity like that happens, my first response is usually to be a bit taken aback - in a "Wow! Did that just really happen?" sorta way. After a few minutes of processing it and trying to figure out what the heck would possess anyone to act in such a way, I next quite honestly feel a little stunned that anyone would have the audacity to try such foolishness with (or to) me. Then I channel my inner Zora and keep it moving.

But sometimes, I remember the bigger crazy and try to decipher what the deal was - like when:

• I was 18 and working as an automotive sales associate in a department store one summer and a fool grabbed my butt as I lead him to the back to check out two tires he needed (I spun around with my fist up, ready to clock him square in the nose until I remembered I was at work which was the only thing that saved him). 
• I was 26 and a man in the pharmacy I saddled up next to (when I was nine months pregnant and my swollen hands hands made wearing my wedding ring an impossibility) who looked over, saw my huge belly, immediately dropped his eyes to my left hand and sucked his teeth in disgust before turning his head away to look in the other direction.
• A few years later when the elderly female owner of a house my (then) hubby and I were going to rent - which was about 400 meters away from her own home - took our security deposit but waited until we got home 30-minutes later to tell us she didn't think our living in such close proximity would "work out."
• Four years ago when a male boss at a newspaper I was working for refused to give me Mother's Day off because, although was the only female out of five editors on the desk, the men had plans to spend the day with their children or mothers. He said the same thing when Father's Day rolled around.
• Two years ago when publisher of an area magazine interviewed me for the editor position I'd applied for, told me I was hired and she would connect after Thanksgiving to give me starting date details. By early January, after she never returned any of my calls or emails, I figured out that I probably wasn't going to ever get that "Here's your start date" correspondence.  

If I spent time examining each of the above, I'm sure I could find some plausible explanation as to why they went down like they did, but, I'm good. I'm sure I didn't misread or mis-interpret at all. And no, there isn't more to any of the stories than what is there, so the "yeah, but..." really doesn't apply.

Sometimes, people are ugly. Sometimes, they can do things to try to make you feel less than significant or important. Sometimes, they succeed.

But the option to straighten your crown, channel your inner Zora and step over the BS is always, always there.