Proceed With Caution, Please...

So, yeah, there are a lot of males who have behaved badly and are being called to the carpet for their past actions. Hats off to the women who have had the courage to step forward and display their inner turmoil in such a public way. Remarkable courage - especially since, as always, their motives, recollection of the events or their level of participation (whatever the heck that means) are all questioned. Yeah, still amazed that the "Well, what did SHE do to bring on such behavior?" is almost always the default - and also that it takes an average of four accusers before folks seem to be at least willing to accept the idea that the accused may, in fact, be a flaming bag of puss who fooled us all (one woman telling her story just never seems to be enough, strangely.).

But I’m also amazed that after all the sexual and workplace harassment awareness and legislation the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings ignited way back in the early 90s, we seem to be right back where we were before Anita Hill testified. Seriously, what is the deal with that? I thought we DID this already…

And what is up with assuming some men are just too nice, or too good at what they do, or too famous to have done what they are accused of? Please at least be open to the idea that even good people who have done tons for the community at large can - and do - treat folks very badly. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Also - a gentle reminder: The idea of inappropriate touching, advances, propositions, vocalized expectations of sexual "favors" and reduction of women to mere body parts happens. All. The. Time. Many, many women have and do experience it, and most of us keep quiet so we don't have to also experience victim blaming and being told to forget/ignore it when we do voice it to higher-ups. That being said, every woman's "This is what happened to me" story - and the "I don't believe her/them" comments - are potentially triggers for lots of people. 

There is a lot of emotional distress happening right now as a result of the headlines, make no mistake about it. Please don't discount that when you wade in to express your opinion. Women are watching. More importantly, young women - and young men - are watching, too. How we treat this thing collectively and individually will tell them a lot about how they are expected to behave.

This is a systemic issue that won't go away with one, five, 10 or even 100 firings or forced resignations. It's bigger than that, and until we recognize that, come correct and try to address all the contributing factors (the biggest of which, I firmly believe, is rape culture in this here land of the free), the piece-meal efforts will not add up to much of anything, and, as we're starting to witness, women will be blamed for calling out other folks' favorite politician, news reporter or entertainment company CEO.

Say it with me now: IT. IS. NOT. HER. FAULT. IT'S. HIS. Dismissing it away or referring to it as just a fluke, a "minor" transgression, or her word against his (and he said he didn't do it!) just ain't cool. So stop that - like, yesterday.

Words are powerful. Please use them accordingly.

The Call That Probably Shouldn't Have Been Made

Remember back in October 1991, when Supreme Court Justice nominee Clarence Thomas was on blast via congressional hearings for alleged sexual harassment in the workplace? One of his accusers, Anita Hill, gave some very descriptive and vivid testimony about things Thomas said and did when he was her supervisor at the U.S. Department of Education and the Equal Employment Opportunities Commission years before. The hearings ended, Thomas was confirmed by a vote of 52-48 and Anita Hill faded into obscurity to all but her Brandeis University law students. But, thankfully, the conversation - and eventual litigation - about workplace sexual harassment had begun.

Cut to October 2010, when Thomas' wife, Virginia, called Hill and left a voicemail requesting an apology. Hill kept the message for two weeks (because she said she initially thought it was a joke) before calling campus police who eventually called the FBI to report it. Hill said there would be no apology coming because as she put it "I testified truthfully about my experience and I stand by that testimony."

My advice to Ginni: Just. Let. It. Go.

Believe what you want to believe about your hubby. Think Anita Hill is the worse thing since the Bubonic Plague - who cares? But seriously - it's been 19 years already. It's time to move on.

And really - on what planet is it OK to call up someone that you passed on life's vector almost two decades ago to have them offer restitution for what happened way back then? Did you discuss it with your husband or act on your own? What would you have done if Anita would have actually answered?

Pinch yourself already. It wasn't a dream and it's time to wake the heck up.